20... getting over life.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

people are worried.

i worry. my dad worries. everyone seems to have this compulsion with thinking excessively about things they can't control. Basically, the escence of worrying is having anxiety over things you can't change.

stop it.


that was easy.

It seems like when i'm in control of my thoughts, and feelings specifically, i can control the worrying. Right now, i'm worry free! Depression free! ETC ETC ETC.... and i'm great. I know that if i get married, i won't stay worry free, depression free, but i'm sure that i'll be able to work it out. Right now i have no confidence in modern medicine. Someone help me out with that... please. All the 'drugs' seem to keep giving me more damage than good. Now that i'm done with them for the time being, i feel better.

My real questions stem from:

why did effexor not give me as bad of side effects the first go around, and why does EVERY medicine give me side effects now?

oh well. Maybe i'll learn someday. Untill then, its back to traditional ways of coping with depression. Namely family/friends/Amy. They all help me. While i was at WSU, i didn't have any symptoms... thanks to these things. Hopfully i can save myself from heartache once again.

well, thats it.



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