20... getting over life.

Friday, March 18, 2005

I'm a happy person today.

Latley (as you've noticed) I've had a lack of updates. I think thats (in part) because i'm depressed. I think today I shook depression again. Go me. I woke up this morning with a renewed sense of vigor, and the first time i've felt well rested in a while. With that said, i'm still not happy.

I really am starting to hate my job, because of (LOOKING GLASS SELF THEORY ALERT!!!) the way I think my coworkers feel. I think i'm not doing a good job, and they're not giving me as many stories. I'm pretty excited to finish up the internship because I suck at this. Not editing videos (although i'm not as confident as I once was,) at writing (I know i'm good at that,) or at mograph design (i'm ok at it, but I really think I've got a shot at getting hired at ksl,) no no, its corporate environment. I decided today that I can't handle it. I can't handle the power struggle. TV News is a little different in that most people don't strive for management. Most people strive to be the ones on the floor, out doing things that get noticed.

I'm thinking, strongly, about working for ESPN when I graduate. I'm thinking about travelling a lot, and making pretty good money (to pay for an apartment where I don't live.) As of right now, i'm self sufficient. That is good. I don't have to beg my parents for money at all, until the medical bills start rolling in. I can afford to live where I live. I'm ok with my job. I want to get out of here and do news.

My dreams --
Reporter on CNN within 10 years.
(or) Anchor on local news in the same timeframe.
(or) MoGraph on ESPN
(or) a pro snowboarder/surfer/skateboarder/basketball player
(or) good speller

Short term reality--

#2-- Get a job at (Local TV station) doing anything.
#3-- Move to SLC.
#4-- Burn out on dreams.
#5-- Accept reality.

You now know some intimate details about myself. Notice that dating isn't even on the list, much less getting married, buying a house, having a better car, or a computer that roxx0rs. Its not even on my radar.

For a 20-year-old, I think way too much. Where were you when you were 20 (21, you infamous mormons)? Was it where you wanted to be? Did you feel fulfilled in life? Am I moving through life too quickly?

Comment if you wish.


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